The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too.
Genesis 3:6 NLT
More often than not when this passage is read it’s made obvious that the woman was the one who took the fruit and ate. The part that is often left out is the fact that Adam was right there! It says he was with her. What was he doing while she was being deceived? What did he say when she ate? Nothing! What did he do when she gave some to him? He ate. What happened later when God confronted Adam about it? He blamed Eve, and God!
Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”… the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”
Genesis 3:9, 11-12 NLT
Notice how Adam says “it was the woman YOU gave me…” Adam blamed God for giving him a companion, and he blamed the companion and yet when God came looking for them He called on Adam for an explanation.
Over and over again the Bible plays out this idea that the man is to be responsible for his house, it began in the garden and continues all the way to Revelation. People will misinterpret the whole thing to make it fit their agendas – blame the spouse, blame God, but never, ever take responsibility for themselves. You’ve probably also seen another extreme – the man is the ruler of the house and everyone must now to his supreme authority. Both of those examples are lies that come straight from the father of lies.
The father is to be the pastor of the house, in the same way that Jesus came and served, is how a father should treat his household. Teach, love, and model godly living is what’s expected of a man. You might remember the book of Job, when Job thought that his children MAY have sinned, what did he do? He went and offered up a sacrifice to God just in case. That’s a good example, always being responsible for your family even if you don’t know what they’re up to.
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.
Ephesians 5:21-30 NLT
Again, much is made about the Bible saying that women should submit to their husbands. But what does it say right before that? Submit to one another. What responsibility does the Bible place on wives? Submission. What does it place on husbands? Love so great that if it were to cost him his life, he is to give it. Be responsible for her and her actions, make her holy, unblemished. Love her as he loves himself, always looking out for her best interest.
I may be getting into theology here a bit, I hope you don’t mind but God places the family’s burdens on the shoulders of the father. The same way He placed the sins of the world on Jesus’ shoulders at Calvary. This doesn’t mean that we (husbands) have to pay for their sins but it does mean that when we give account for our lives we will be asked about our household and why they are wherever they are, whether that be in heaven or not.
I only recently began to see myself as pastor dad of my house, and no it’s not a burden, it’s not a dictatorship where I yell and everyone scurries to please me. It’s a joy to have my family under my wing, to be the teacher, the protector, the… father. And with Jesus as my Lord, I know I have all the resources I need to accomplish what God has asked.