If you’re in the same generation as me you remember that when we were kids throwing a tantrum did not get you what you wanted. In fact throwing a fit after being told no usually meant the consequences would only get worse.
No meant no and that was that, defying your parents could very well lead to a spanking, and nobody wanted that.
That’s not the case nowadays is it? Now a tantrum gets you exactly what you want, and I’m not just talking about kids. Our society has taught us that when you’re willing to throw a tantrum that’s when you’ll get what want.
Working in retail I see this first hand, customers come into the store everyday asking for a product that doesn’t exist. They seem to think that I’m holding it back so they can’t have it, overlooking the very obvious fact that I’m a salesman, it’s my job to sell them something and if what they wanted was an option I would sell it to them and move on. Most of the time I tell them no they react badly, some get angry, some have actually said they’d take their business elsewhere if I don’t sell it to them.
It’s the same after a purchase was made and the customer calls with a complaint, often times they get loud and vulgar until you give them a few bucks back or some free product just to appease them.
The old adage of “you catch more flies with honey…” doesn’t hold a whole lot of truth these days.
I’m sure you’ve seen them too, the kids in the grocery store that throw themselves down on the floor after being told no and kick and scream until mom or dad finally gives in.
I’m not pointing my finger here either cause I’m guilty of this, give them what they want so we can avoid a scene.
But aren’t we misleading our children by doing this? When I see adults curse, swear and cry… yes I said cry, when they don’t get what they want, I think to myself that this tactic must’ve worked in order for them to be using it.
I most certainly do not want my boys to grow up thinking that that’s just what you do when you’re told no, I don’t want them just reacting this way because that’s what they’ve always done.
As foster parents my wife and I have to attend yearly parenting training to keep our certification. For the record much of the time I hate these things, their full of new age parenting tricks that truth be told do not work. Filled with a bunch of fancy shrink speak to help your child deal with life, to which I say “mumbo jumbo” sometimes kids just need some good ole fashioned discipline.
But once in a while you get a good course with actual helpful advice, we are in the middle of one right now and it not only points out where the kids are wrong but also where parents are wrong. If we wonder why a three year old hits, lies and steals things we need look no farther than his parents. That’s not to say that a child can’t find trouble on her own because all parents know that she can… and she will, but that the vast majority of what they learn came from observing their parents. That’s one of the things this training helped me with, if I’m on the phone with the cable company yelling at them because they won’t give me what I want than I should not be surprised if I see my son yelling at his teacher for saying no to him.
Here’s the overarching problem with temper tantrums both for adults and kids, in today’s world they work.
Kids do it, adults do it, protesters do it, and so does every group of people that wants something they don’t have.
The sad part is Christians do it now too, almost like we’ve said well it worked for everyone else, we’ll do it too.
We see the government do something and we take to social media like our rights have just been stripped. We see secular businesses say something secular and we throw a tantrum that would make a two year old cringe.
I’m not denying that persecution is happening but some of what we cry about is just that… crying.
When Moses and the Israelites wandered the wilderness how many times did God get so frustrated with them that He just wanted to wipe them off the face of the earth, all because of their incessant grumbling, “we should’ve stayed in Egypt” or “we’re gonna die out here” “we’ve got nothing to eat or drink” when all they had to do was ask for provision and it would have been given, better yet they could’ve trusted Him and He would have provided.
We are supposed to be known by how we treat each other, in other words non Christians are supposed to be looking at us and thinking wow they handled themselves very well.
If that’s not how they’re looking at us then we are doing something wrong my friend.
Jesus stood out because He treated people well, He didn’t just teach love, he practiced it. Sometimes we Christians tend to react to the world in a worldly manner and expect them to see us differently. We need to react the way Jesus taught us to, then they’ll see us differently. Our kids will notice it too, and since we are their role models they will follow it, trust me they will.
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